Friday, January 20, 2006

::houseguest update::

Be very careful.
Choose whom you let into the lives of your children very carefully.
We thought we were doing a good deed (and we were) by agreeing to let a woman in transition (divorce) stay in our guest house.
Thirty uncleaned up dog messes in the backyard later...(not to mention cigarette butts in the plants, severely ripped screen from previously named dog, dirty dishes and missing items in the pantry. )
We're not those kind of folks you'd never like to visit because we're a stickler for keeping things immaculate. Trust me, we're not. But heh, there are limits right?
After the incessant barking and "Tristin, shut up - you're a buzz kill" shouts, you start to feel a little less hospitable.

My idea to completely clean out and organize the garage (exercise space and kiddies play area) took root and I went nutty with laying everything unwanted out on the driveway in anticipation of Salvation Army picking it up as they said they would. The time of pick up came and went and then the next day they arrived saying they could only take 1 thing as opposed to the odd 60+ things I had anticipated. So needless to say, I had to get rid of the junk. Since Salvation Army was Kelley's idea (and since she's been staying in our home rent free for 3 weeks) I thought she may consider going with me to pick up and drop off the van. I rented it for one evening. When it came time to take it back she said, "Can't we wait until tomorrow?" So I had to pay for an extra day. Fine. Come tomorrow she still really doesn't want to do it but agrees with a huff. On the way she scrapes the side of a parked car and and damages both the car and the van. She screams and yells (all manner of profanities) at me. I tell her basically to leave our home and don't come back, not one step back in.

What I feel most guilty about is having her around my kids. Luckily they're too young to ever remember anything but that sure is a lesson learned. Was I wrong in this situation?

Rob's mum is doing better. The infection is out of her lungs so they can operate. In England though you kind of have to wait your turn so she lost her place due to the infection and will now have to wait a couple more weeks.

15 Comments:

Blogger Kimber said...

Oooooohhhh Girl - I am so so sorry to hear all of this, especially with your Rob being in England with his dear mum being sick!!!

I will keep you in my prayers...and again, I am so sorry things turned out to be this way for you...especially since you were sacrificing to help out someone in need...

I am glad your kids are too young to remember this situation...and I pray that God helps brings restoration and peace back into your home.

Sorry :(

9:34 PM  
Blogger Camy Tang said...

OMGosh I can't imagine what you've had to go through. I'll be praying she leaves without incident and also for Rob's mom.
Camy

12:59 AM  
Blogger Donna said...

Wow. I sure wouldn't act like that to someone being so hospitable.

I don't think you were wrong. There is only so much you can take! So exceeded that limit.

5:33 AM  
Blogger chksngr said...

Here is my deal...when you are a guest in somebody else's home, you have to play by their rules.

You establish the rules before hand and if anything comes up, you just go with the flow. Its that way if you are paying rent, its that way if you don't.

I know FIRST hand becuase I am currently living with my in-laws...because my MIL is an absolutely NUTCASE, there are new rules added each day. ANd some of them are weird rules designed expressly to irritate me, so she can be the one in control of everything....however, I quietly agree and just move on.

But we live here for free, so we follow the rules. Its the way it works!!

SOOOOOO...NO you were not wrong! and good for you, protecting yourself and your children from a life-style that you don't want them to see at this point in their lives.

7:19 AM  
Blogger Radical One said...

awwe girl! no you weren't wrong, you did what you felt was best at the time, and you learned a huge lesson without anyone being permanantely damaged...can't help anyone unless they are willing to help themselves. and some things you don't know until you're in the middle of it. as we always hear it said, "hind site is 20/20". so hold your head high, thank God for the little lesson in your journey and be blessed that you tried!

and so glad to hear rob's mum situation is looking better. that's great.

got to run, and get this day in motion.

blessings!
lisa

7:48 AM  
Blogger Tidy Bowl said...

Glad to hear Mum is doing better.

I'm so sorry that humanity has hit you so hard. It is absolutely ridiculous, and absolutely wrong, and unfortunately, absolutely human, that you can treat a person as nice as possible, sweet as sugar, and she will walk all over you.

But you didn't do anything wrong. Because I think you are responsible to God first, to your husband and kids second, and to the world third. So you had to take care of your kids. And there's nothing wrong with that.

11:40 AM  
Blogger Leesa said...

I've been in situations like these before, and you are definitely right for asking her to leave. I have definitely learned my lesson and don't invite people to live with us.

2:01 PM  
Blogger Jada's Gigi said...

I'm so sorry you had to deal with "houseguest" alone. These things seem to always happen when our hubbies go away...trust me I know of which I speak. Anyway, i'm glad she it is resolved...doesn't sound like the kind of person I would want around on a daily basis for my kids sake...or my own.
Older and wiser now, yes?? :)
Will Rob have to stay in England til his mum's surgery? A few more weeks??

6:22 AM  
Blogger Drea said...

wow sounds like a complicated situation... and awkward.

7:09 AM  
Blogger Doug E. said...

We'll keep that situation in prayer.

Doug

11:04 AM  
Blogger chksngr said...

Hey miss...

Hope you are ok and just busy because of the "single mom" thing you are doing right now...

just browsed your referenced links...love some of that stuff...VERY inspirational!

God's Blessings!!!

F.

7:43 AM  
Blogger Kimber said...

SO, tomorrow is the LAST day of January - and the end of your great challenge - although, I pray that I can keep it up for the REST of my life!!! I will forever think of you when I start to complain to my great honey - and I want to say, "Thank YOU for the great reminder to watch my the things that come out of my mouth, and to give more of my love to my honey!! And for that I know I will have an even better marriage :)

Thinking of you and praying for you girl!!!

10:33 AM  
Blogger Kimber said...

Just want to stop by and say, I MISS YA! Hope all is well - you are in my thoughts and prayers girl :)

Blessings!

5:35 AM  
Blogger GClef1970 said...

Did your houseguest slay you? Where have you gone??? Praying everything is okay!

7:16 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

That is a tough situation. We took in an 18 year old and it was a mistake as well. In the end the Lord worked it all out; but my kids were picking up and repeating some of her slang words which weren't bad per say, but very inapropiate for a three year old to say. So I understand where you are coming from. Its a tough situation. Ulitmately we had to ask the 18 year old to leave and she did.

12:04 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home