::unlimited possibilites::
So my camera isn't as broken as I thought. It's still a little shell-shocked from the fall. (Pulled off a shelf from 5 feet onto the hardwood floor). It may never quite be the same but at least for now it's taking pictures and that's kind of what I'm mainly going for.I was able to get a couple of my little man today after all.
About his hair, yes, eekk I know. I was experimenting. It will grow.
I wanted to clarify something I mentioned on my last post about Luke. Wendy commented so sweetly about how we should be planning to dance with our son's at their weddings rather than think about assisted-living. You know, we are considering a few shifts in planning but over all I plan on continuing to do every single smidgen of trying and praying that I can for Luke and I have every intention of seeing him be everything that any other three year old has the potential of becoming. I wanted to be clear that I am in no way giving up or even having doubts about Luke's potential. The brain is truly miraculous and his is absorbing and he is surprising us every single day.
There truly are depths of sadness and frustration that Rob and I face that I didn't know possible before Luke's diagnosis. The frustration of his quirks and delays and of not being able to go to birthday parties or preschool or of not hearing his voice are almost too much to bear some days. There are cycles and rollercoasters of emotion that change almost every twelve hours, from good day to bad day. But I truly believe through it all that there is a purpose and I know one day we will understand. Even when I am in the depths of despair I know that somehow, someway, it will be okay one day, whatever that means for Luke and us as his parents.
Whew, that was heavy. Sorry. Just wanted to get it out there 'cause I don't usually open up a whole bunch on this blog but felt the need after the last post.
Because my blog is also sort of a journal that I use to remember details I need to say also that Leila is now saying, "hat", "bye" with a wave, "cheese", "cup", "apa" (for apple) "six" and "ball".
posted by Gina at 8:39 PM
8 Comments:
I have a friend who says he does not trust anyone who does not limp. He's very cynical, but what I got out of it is people with burdens and brokenness have a tremendous capacity for compassion.
I try to allow my heartbreaks to be my tutors, to form deep rivers of mercy in me.
Sometimes all that sludges out of me is self pity and other globs.
I see one courageous person in you. I think you are a real trouper and it is an honor that you opened up your cup of sorrow to your blogger friends.
I will add Luke to my prayer list.
Stay strong, girlfriend. I'm praying for you.
Camy
Luke is a lucky little guy to have you and Rob! ~ jb///
Gina -
It's too early to cry. Stop it. :)
Marti Leimbach wrote a book called, "Daniel Isn't Talking." It's a work of fiction but it's based on her own son's life thus far. Like Daniel, her son didn't say his first word until he was three. I read a quote from Marti Leimbach in People magazine one time and I'll never forget what she said. I don't have the exact quote but it was something along the lines of - Don't believe that your child at three is as good as it's going to get.
I remember those words often. They're all that get me through some of my days.
Take care. I'm thinking about you.
Whew, that was really a big post, but sorry i didnt read it, just came by to say HI :-)
Hugs to you sweetie. :)
Left you a comment re: this on your lost post...but I wanted to say again...I belive with all my heart that God choose the best parents to love your little Luke!!
And may God give you the courage to keep fighting the fight of faith with courage. You are very courageous and I know you love both of those cute kiddos with all of your heart...and may God continue to be your strength and wisdom concerning all things re: your kids :)
Hugs! And blessings!! Thinkin of you often! Happy B-day SOON :)
Oh Gina, I'm just catching up on reading everyone's blog. And, I SO know that pain that you're talking about. We just have to keep having faith. Wednesday night, Conor's devotion (we read a devotion every night) was "God's Masterpiece" and it hit me square between the eyes. Here is an excerpt:
"When God created you, he did an excellent job, too. The Bible says that you are a masterpiece. God did his very best when he made you. Now he wants you to do your very best for him."
"We are God's masterpiece. He has creasted us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."
Ephesians 2:10, NLT
And there is a prayer:
"Lord, you made me the way that I am. Help me to do the best that I can."
He DID, Gina. He made Luke and Conor the way that they are. And, they are both masterpieces. We must remember that in those dark, painful times when we panic over the thought of play groups, birthday parties, and school.
Blessings of the fruits of the spirit to you.
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